The last week or so has felt uncomfortable. I realised yesterday in meditation there have been a lot of endings lately, or completions. The end of Summer, the completion already of some of my big intentions for this year, the end of some important relationships (at least as they once were), and that all makes me feel edgy and uncomfortable. Why? Because endings are often difficult to accept, we generally prefer to cling to what we know, and as inevitable as change is, we humans struggle with it. But bringing awareness to my discomfort and dropping the stories I have, is shedding more light on things. My discomfort can exist at the same time as seeing the goodness and beauty in those things I was lucky enough to have and to experience. And if I change my perspective I see that there are doors waiting be opened, and seeds waiting to be nurtured if I choose to do so. I guess this is the uncomfortable space between the old and the new. It’s limbo, it’s downtime, it’s a focus on reflecting rather than creating.
Symbolically that ties in with the Autumn equinox coming this week on the 22nd September – the end of the season, harvesting instead of planting, and slowing down. Do you relate to this?
Here is the meditation sequence that came up for me as I was reflecting on why I was feeling uncomfortable, for you to do in your own meditation.
1. Light a candle or incense to signify that this is the start of a practice. Then sit or lay in a comfortable, quiet space where you won’t be disturbed.
2. Pay attention to your breath, and give your thoughts some space to roll for at least a few minutes.
3. Then begin to focus attention on the areas of your life that seem to be ending, completing, or perhaps transforming from one thing to another. If you’re not sure, try just noticing the change in season and how that feels to you.
4. How do you feel about these endings? Is there a sense of achievement, of pride, perhaps relief? Or a sense of disappointment, an urge to cling and not let go, a sense of failure, or a sense of loss? Tune in to how you feel. Often we try to avoid negative feelings but all feelings are human and therefore valid.
5. Let the feeling, whatever it is, continue to exist (in other words don’t try to push away or repress uncomfortable feelings – they contain gold) but reflect on what the positive aspects of these things that are ending were. What did they bring to your life? How did you grow from them? Why is it time to let them go? Spend some time with that and keep coming back to your breath.
6. Now look towards your future. Are there doors waiting be opened? Are there seeds waiting to be nurtured? You don’t have to immediately act on them, but notice they are there. With every ending is usually a beginning. Sometimes there is a little downtime first.
7. Sit with the present moment.
Thank you to Aggie who sent this to me a long time ago. I knew it would come in handy…
I’m learning about cycles in all things,
Cycles within friendships, & relationships & in yoga,
And motivation and writing. You must let things die
Or break and be still awhile before rebirthing and rebuilding,
From a more careful and powerful foundation.
You need to embrace the full cycle, even the death of something.
You must surrender and feel it all in order to learn. Same as the moon cycles,
And all else that thrives in this world, the death is evident and necessary to
Keep things strong, vital and beautiful.
You must take rest before the flight.
by Victoria Erikson